L'iL JoHnny !


SunDaY ScHool !

Little Johnny was at Sunday school one day, and the nun that was teaching him asked the class, which part of your body do you think reaches heaven first? A girl named Sally answered with ’I think the hands are the first part of your body that reaches heaven because God will pull you up by your hands because you pray with them everyday’. That’s an excellent answer Sally' replied the nun.
'I think your legs go first!’ said Little Johnny, the nun, confused asks ’why do you think that?’ and Little Johnny says, ’because the other day I walked into my mums room, she had her legs in the air and she was screaming "Oh God I’m coming!" if it hadn’t been for the milkman holding her down, we would’ve lost her’.
The nun fainted...

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Little Johnny, on a day when he was being particularly reckless, was playing in the backyard one morning. Soon, some honeybees started swirling around, annoying little Johnny. He began stomping on them in his temper. His father caught him trampling the honeybees, and after a brief moment of thought said, "That's it! No honey for you for one month!"

Later that afternoon, Johnny pondered upon some butterflies, and soon started catching them and crushing them under his feet. His father again caught him, and after a brief moment of thought, said, "No butter for you for one month!"

Early that evening, Johnny's mother was cooking dinner, and got jumpy when cockroaches started scurrying around the kitchen floor. She began stomping on them one by one until all the cockroaches were dead. Johnny's mother looked up to find Johnny and his father standing there watching her. To which Johnny said, "Are you going to tell her, daddy, or should I?"


Other

Penis Problem

A guy goes to see the doctor, because he's a little too well-endowed. In fact, it's 25 inches long and he can't get any women to have sex with him.

Anyway, the doctor says there's nothing he can do medically, but recommends a witch doctor that he thinks might be able to help.

The witch doctor takes a look at the problem and tells him to go to a particular pond, deep in the forest, and talk to a frog that lives there. "Ask the frog to marry you and each time the frog says no, you'll be 5 inches shorter."

Worth a try, he thinks, and off he dashes into the forest. He finds the pond and sees the frog on the other side, sitting on a log. "Frog, will you marry me?"

The frog looks at him, disinterested at best, and calls back, "No."

The guy looks down and sure enough, he's 5 inches shorter. Hey, this is great he thinks -- let's try that again. "Will you marry me?"

The frog rolls his eyes, and shouts back again, "No!"

Zappo! -- the guy's down to 15 inches. Well, that's still a bit excessive, he thinks. Down another 5 would be perfect. So he calls across again, "Frog, will you marry me?"

The irritated frog yells back, "Look..how many times do I have to tell you? No, No, NO!"
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Very Large Toilet


There once was a blind man who decided to visit Texas. When he arrived on the plane, he felt the seats and said, "Wow, these seats are big!" The person next to him answered, "Everything is big in Texas."

When he finally arrived in Texas, he decided to visit a bar. Upon arriving in the bar, he ordered a beer and got a mug placed between his hands. He exclaimed, "Wow these mugs are big!" The bartender replied, "Everything is big in Texas."

After a couple of beers, the blind man asked the bartender where the bathroom was located. The bartender replied, "Second door to the right." The blind man headed for the bathroom, but accidentally tripped over and skipped the second door. Instead, he entered the third door, which lead to the swimming pool and fell into the pool by accident.

Scared to death, the blind man started shouting, "Don't flush, don't flush!"


More To Come Soon

I Request Mods To Make THis Thread STICKY

because Im GOnna Update this one with More Funny JOkes / COmics /Pictures

AND DONT FORGET TO ADD REPS !!

~ Little Johnny In Class ~

One day after a tiring Class on Ancient Kings history and studying about King LUCIFER ruler of and Azeroth. The teacher decided to play a relaxing game with the class.

Each kid was required to come up to the board , one by one and draw something on the board. Each successive student was required to ADD something on to the previous kids drawing.


Little Johny quickly raised his hand but the teacher ignored him (cause she knew he was upto no good) and called onn James instead


James returned to his seat.

Johnys hand was still wavng in the air but yet again the teacher expected no good from him.The teacher called on Ernie next.



Ernie returned to his seat.



Johny was literally pleading the teacher to allow him to come up to board now..so the teacher looked at the board and tried to figure a way of HOW Little Johny could possibly be up to something , however she didnt want to risk it.

She called onn suzy..


Suzy returned to her seat.

Next. the teacher called Jerry to the board.



Jerry returned to his seat.

Johny just got up from him seat and headed to the board...but was sent back by the teacher to his dissapointment.Johny returned to his seat with a frown.

Kim was called to the board.



Kim returned to her seat.



About this time, little Johnny began waving his arm hysterically. Little Johnny was well known for being dirty minded, so the teacher was reluctant to call on him for anything. But as the teacher looked at the picture on the chalkboard, she thought that there was no way that little Johnny could possibly do anything to make this picture dirty. So she called on Johnny, and he ran to the chalkboard.



Uh - Oh.. He did again

Oral Sex

There was a woman in a hospital and she is in a coma. Her nurse notices after a few days that every time she sponge baths the woman around the crotch, her vital signs, acording to the nearby monitor, increase significantly. The nurse gets an idea that oral sex might just provide the stimulation to bring the woman out of her coma.

She calls the womans husband, tells him her idea about the oral sex, and he agrees. When he arrives at the hospital, the nurse ushers him into the room, and closes the door.

Five minutes later the man comes running out of the room screaming that all his wife's vital signs have plummeted to zero and she needs a doctor immediately. The nurse, upset that her idea had not only not worked, but seemed to be threatening the life of the woman she had sought to save, asked the husband what had happened.

"I'm not sure, but I think she choked".

Do you guys EVER think about your penis? .. wait a minute.. thats a stupid question.. thats all we think about. (hehe)