A man from Bihar was away from his wife for four (4) years while his
wife was in Patna (Bihar).
At the end of 4 years he distributed sweets to his colleagues in
office stating that his wife had delivered a son.
His colleagues were quite shocked and they asked how this "Happy
event" happened when he had not seen his wife for four years...
The man said it is common in Bihar that neighbours take care of the
wife (good Samaritans) when men are away.
The colleagues asked him, "What name will you give to the son?"

The man explained, "If its the second neighbour who has taken
care,then the name would be "DWIVEDI";
If it is the third neighbour then it would be "TRIVEDI",
If it is the fourth neighbour then it would be "CHATURVEDI" ;
If its the fifth neighbour then it would be "PANDEY"...

After listening to this, questions followed.

What if it is a mixture of neighbours? "Then the boy would be named "MISHRA"...

And what if the wife is too shy to tell the name of the neighbour?
Then it would be "SHARMA"...

But what if she refuses to divulge the name of the neighbour? Then the
name of the child would be "GUPTA"...

If she does not remember the name then? "It is "YAAD-AV"

But who knows whether the child resulted from a rape? Then it will be
named "DOSHI"...

Finally, if the child happened because of wife's burning desire? Then
he will be named "JOSHI"...

And if the whole country had made efforts for the happy arrival?....
"DESHPANDEY" .

GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a BASTARD.
PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?
GIRL: Well, he kissed me.

PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist kissed the girl )
GIRL: ......Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl's top )
GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist took off the girl's clothes )
GIRL: Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, he had sex with me!
PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?
( The psychiatrist had sex with the girl )
GIRL: .Yes!

PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a BASTARD.
GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS.
PSYCHIATRIST: BASTARD!!!!!